Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
