please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize