I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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