come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I can't trust your balls anymore.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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