I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
