Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
