i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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