I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
