Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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