I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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