no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
