id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
