And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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