i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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