Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
