It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i think my mom watched the whole time
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
