I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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