Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
