I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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