he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize