I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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