So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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