hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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