So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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