this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
