ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
