her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
