in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
