What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
