Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
MIDGETS
????
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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