i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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