Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
