My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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