he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
