i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
