I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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