I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Randomize
