drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize