I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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