i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
