He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
