remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize