But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
