I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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