I want you more than these girls want KFC
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
