Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Let's get the cat blown out
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
