What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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