you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's blow job season.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
