How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
