Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
