i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
