How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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