You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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