I think my vagina is haunted
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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