you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
