M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm always down for nudity.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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