it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
