haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
