Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
