Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
