yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He passed out mid-signature
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Randomize
