Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
